According to a recent research carried out by “Helmholtz Health” – a prominent and respected research institute of Germany – there has been found an alarming escalation in the number of Pakistanis suffering from a unique and strange mental illness called Reverse Paranoia.
Termed in the scientific circles as RPS or Reverse Paranoiac Syndrome, from which 73% of Pakistan’s 160 million citizens (excluding the foreign terrorists and their foreign targets it proudly hosts) are suffering, causes the unfortunate or fortunate victims to constantly and wholeheartedly suspect that the whole world is constantly conspiring to make them (the victims) happy, comfortable and successful in every possible shape, form and manner.
Upon the publication of the research finding, various prominent scholars and leaders of the South Asian Nuclear Country opined that the primary cause of such an alarming growth of RPS in Pakistan could be its unconscious mental reaction to the pressure of constantly being blamed for whatever may or may not go wrong in any corner, turn and hole of the world.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, an official in the Islamabad-based National Health Authority (NHA), went on further to claim that a significant rise in RPS-suffering cases in Pakistan was first noted when – after happily seeing one or another son of the nation being blamed for dating or fathering one or the other western socialite – no Pakistani was blamed for being the father of the new born grandson Sarah Palin (the Republican Party’s vice-presidential nominee for the 2008 United States presidential election).
The same official of NHA mentioned the final nail in the coffin for Pakistan was the Mumbai Attacks of 26/11. When no one in India papers blamed Pakistan for trying to get rid of Hemant Karkare (Ex-Chief Mumbai Anti Terrorist Squad) by getting him killed through Pakistani Terrorist during the Mumbai massacre, several Pakistani attempted to commit suicide. His dismissal being on the top of the agenda of Narendra Modi notwithstanding, Hemant Karkare was the same man who, quoting Farrukh Khan Pitafi, was reportedly “on verge of uncovering the home-grown terror franchise of the Hindu extremists“. Hemant was killed in the Mumbai Attacks by the terrorists.
Pakistanis were also shocked to see no one in India media calling Amaresh Mishra (a historian, activist and author) a victim of hypnosis (alias Voodoo alias Kala Jadu) of ISI after Amaresh had went on to shed light on the other side of the Mumbai Attacks picture.
The statement of a prominent opposition leader “Wadera Kursi Bachao Yaro” from interior Sindh, Paksitan hereby is interesting who claims that the majority of such Reverse Paranoiac Pakistanis are members of the Ruling Coalition of Pakistan.
Pakistan’s State ailing Health Minister could not be reached by this correspondent for comments on the German institution’s findings or the opposition leader’s allegations as the ailing Minister was reportedly on a foreign trip for a medical check up.
Just before this piece went into publishing, a special advisor (who is neither a civil services officer nor a a member of the lower or the upper houses either) to the President was kind enough to inform us to that the expenses of Health Minister’s foriegn trip and medical check up were take care of by a chunk of money flowing in straight from one of President’s very own Swiss bank account.
PS: There has been some misunderstanding regarding the last piece of this correspondent.
While attempting to see how similar the India-Pakistan relation and the Israel-Lebanon relation would be if - after blaming Pakistan and Pakistani state terrorist for the Mumbai Attacks – India ever goes to war against its neightbour to ‘help’ Pakistan get rid of the terror threat, we had coined and used a new term ‘Lebanize’.
As many readers might have guessed by now, the word ‘Lebanize’ is a new word derived by this correspondent from the word Lebanon, and its resemblance to the word Liberate or Liberation (Liberate Iraq ; Uncle Sam’s good old ploy – remember?) is purely coincidental, unintentional but of course amusing.
Filed under: Humor & Sarcasm, Politik, Random Ramblings , Amaresh Mishra, Blame games, Hemant Karkare, Hindi Extremists, ISI, Pakistan
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