Before I proceed to write what I intended to write when I chose the titled for this post, I would like to share with you the findings of my own research regarding Swedes and I will share it with you for free:
“If you are in Sweden and someone initiates a conversation with you, there could be none other than the following five reasons behind it:
1. The person is a foreigner (or what I prefer to call ‘Stranger in Scandinavia, and thus lonely).
2. The person is drunk or insane (or both; temporarily at least).
3. The person is a priest. (Usually turns out to be a Jehova’s Witness, and vanishes in no time when you tell them you are Muslim. I am not sure if it is the magic of ‘Al-Qaeda brand’ or just the fact that Jehova’s Wittnesses’ know their magic tricks won’t work on a Muslim).
4. The person is a salesman, saleswoman, bartender, barber, taxi driver, etc and is asking you to pay for whatever product or service you purchased.
5. The person is not speaking to you but doing a bit of loud-thinking while taking x-ray of a foreign immigrant (i.e. you).
All rights of this research’s findings are reserved. You will come to know the reason a few lines later.
Now you may read what you wanted to read when you clicked on this post’s link.
Stockholm’s summer this year round has been a lovely one.
I have not been able to enjoy nature as much as I wanted to this summer, but still it has been good. I am doing well despite the fact that – if I disregard the independent consultancy work I am doing – technically (read: ‘in my family’s opinion’) I am unemployed ever since I resigned from last my job (2 months and 10 days to be precise).
While in Pakistan I would expect too much from others, or would get it all even if I won’t expect it or had not even started to plan to expect it, here it is all together a different ball game.
Given the nature of my situation coupled with the abnormally reserved nature of Swedes, I try not to expect even a ‘hi’ from most of the next door neighbors.
So naturally, when I go for running in the nearby woods, while taking breaks by sitting near the lake on that old bench gazing at the other side of the lake and the lonely ducks while being careful not to offend the snake I met there a few days back, before going to sprint my way up towards the hilltop (in a bid to burn more calories), I don’t expect others people doing the same stuff in the same place where I am to even pass a smile towards me.
But yesterday, that was exactly what actually happened.
Not once.
Not twice.
But thrice.
And the 3rd time it was accompanied by a friendly ‘Hej’ (swedish version of ‘Hi’ which is quite similar to ‘Hi’.)
This word ‘Hej’ and others like ‘precis’ (meaning ‘precise’), ‘absålut’ (meaning ‘absolute’), ‘fint’ (meaning ‘fine) make me feel like Swedish language (or Svenska) is nothing but ‘linguistic plagiarism’.
Do you now see why I am so concerned regarding the copyrights of my research findings?
Anyways, all the three smiles and the accompanied ‘Hej’ were by the same guy (no I am not gay) who was jogging on the same track but in the totally opposite way so we came across each other 3 times.
The first time he smiled, he was doing some stretching before setting of to start his jogging, so I was kind of surprised. And it took me a few seconds before transforming my “seriously awkward-looking serious look” into “a look which could be defined as a something resembling to a seemingly awkward smile”.
Every time he gave me the same innocent, warm, nice kind of smile which you don’t expect from a stranger (specially if you have been in Sweden for sometime) and which still gives you such a nice feeling.
I guess the guy, being new in the area, was trying to make acquaintance with the ‘senior’ joggers of the place. He was kinda over-weight as well and I have also noticed that such guys (and even girls) are usually more friendly.
But what if he was yet another foreigner? But I don’t think so. He was a native Swede. Just like Bush can look into the eyes of Putin and ‘see his soul’, I can recognize a Stranger in Scandinavia instantly.
But getting back to the ’smile’ issue, it just fills you with happiness, a bit of satisfaction that I am not ‘that’ alone despite being ‘really’ alone. Such a miracle a smile is. It is an art which I have never been able to perfect I guess.
Also, when the somewhat fat guy smiled at a stern-looking guy (i.e. me) I started to wonder if my resistance to expect a smile from someone in Sweden might be making me look so stern or reserved that probably even local Swedes might try to avoid doing something (e.g. a free smile) which might offend me.
Ok fine, dear Swedes. No free smiles. But what about free hugs?
(Kidding, the free smile phrase reminded me of the ‘free hugs movement’ actually).
It is so hard to make people realize that under every stern, serious face is a need, a desire, a longing to get to know good and nice people and just share sometime of yours with them or just have a short 35-second conversation about how good the weather is, or how high the taxes are, or low the temperature is, or how the other person is doing.
More on this some other time. I should go to bed now. I will be attending the final ceremony of an entrepreneurial contest taking place in Mälardalen University, Västerås. I hope I won’t feel like laughing at myself to fin d that one of the 3 judges would be none other than me.
I mean, I had never thought those who are in search of justice themselves could be appointed as judges.
Strange world.
Probably my next post should be about a few J’s… judges, judgmentalism (probably Swedes reading this post would think I am being judgmental), justice, and a dear friend J who came back to Stockholm last night.
Anyways… I should go now. Good night. Lights Off. Sleeping Mode On.
Filed under: Nomad's Notes, Random Ramblings , judgementalism, judges, justices, smiles, spring, stockholm, strangers, summer
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